Thoughts on the past

Lately I’ve been thinking about my past a lot, what it was like growing up, accomplishments, failures, and the like.  I’ve really been wanting to talk about more than the tediousness of everyday life lately.  To be honest there has not been much to report on, and I feel like this thing can very easily take on a negative tone if I’m not careful.  Growing up for me like many other people was full of it’s ups and downs.  I had always been a big kid, I don’t think that I can remember a time when I wasn’t considered large for my age.  Even during a short period between eighth grade and my sophomore year when I was somewhat smaller I wasn’t what you would consider little.  I was a 200 plus pound freshman, and as a sophomore I wrestled 215.  I tried to play sports but wasn’t very athletic until my last couple years of high school when I was what you could consider an average athlete.  As you could expect I had a dual personality about it at times.  Putting on a front of being somewhat outgoing, all the while worried about what people really thought about me, and what they said I was like when I wasn’t around.  To be honest that sticks with me even today.  I’m often worried about how I was recieved in a situation after I leave it.  That insecurity is something that I still have to work to overcome.  I am often found in my small group of friends that I’m comfortable with, not wanting to push outside of that group for fear that I will not be looked at favorably.  Over the next couple weeks I’m going to try to talk about different times in my life more specifically, but for now I’ll just leave this post with a promise to push myself to be more comfortable in social situations and to try to be more open with people in my real life interactions.  For now, how about a picture of a younger me.

me and lindsey

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